Posts Tagged ‘Care Partner’

How Can Body Language Help Caregivers?

Picture a person who is feeling defeated.  How do they look?  What is their posture?

Chances are you imagined a person who was sort of “curled up,” with their shoulders bent and head down.  Maybe they even hold their arms crossed in front of them.

This is a very natural pose to take when we’re being attacked; it serves to protect our vital organs, and keeping our head down can protect our face and throat.

Now picture someone who is very strong and self-confident.  What do you see?

Are they standing tall, feet firmly planted?  Are their hands on their hips?  (Think Superman or Wonder Woman here).

Harvard researcher Amy Cuddy became very interested in body language and the ways people seem to express feeling powerful or powerless.  What she learned can help you with your caregiving.

Dr. Cuddy noticed that in nature, when an animal feels threatened, or even wants to intimidate another animal who’s too close to their home territory, they make themselves appear larger.  A fish might puff itself up to appear larger, a bird will spread its wings and get up on tip-toe, and a mammal tends to “ruff” the fur around its neck and may rear up to seem more capable of defending itself.

Conversely, many animals will make themselves small by curling up into a ball or trying to climb into a tiny space for safety.

In her lab, Dr. Cuddy learned that when humans “make themselves big” for as little as 2 minutes, their stress hormone, cortisol, gets lower.  Their testosterone, a hormone that can makes us strong and focused, was raised.  This brief change in posture altered how the brain and body responded, allowing the person to feel more calm and courageous.

People who assumed the smaller posture had hormonal changes, too, but in the opposite direction.  Those folks experienced an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, and a decrease in testosterone.

Who is better prepared to deal with a problem, succeed in an interview, or stay calm in a time of trouble?

Dr. Cuddy advises that taking on a big posture, spreading our feet and arms, for 2 minutes before an important conversation can make us think more clearly and feel calm and more self-assured.

Notice your own posture at different times throughout the day.  When you notice yourself curling up, make an effort to spread out for a few minutes.  Even putting your feet up on a desk, leaning back, and putting your hands behind your head (with elbows out), is a way to make yourself appear larger that Dr. Cuddy calls “the CEO position.”

Is there a part of caregiving that “beats you up” or makes you feel powerless?  Try “being big” for a few minutes, and let us know through the comment board what you discover!

You can learn more about Dr. Cuddy’s research by watching her TedX talk at: http://youtu.be/Ks-_Mh1QhMc

 

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Lisa Kendall is a social worker and clinical gerontologist with a private therapy and consulting practice.  Specializing in aging and Elder care, trauma recovery, and bereavement, Lisa also teaches at the Ithaca College Gerontology Institute and is an Educator for The Eden Alternative™.

Changes at the Crossroads

Lisa PixlrI think I’m having growth spurt.

Before you check out my “middle-aged middle” and start giggling, let me say how grateful I am to have so many opportunities to learn and grow, professionally and personally.

(Now you can giggle!)

I continue to learn every day from my clients and colleagues, family and friends, and my “tribe” of followers on this blog and on my Facebook page, Lisa Kendall Counseling.

In the past year I’ve also taken advantage of some powerful professional development opportunities, including:

  • Webinar series on brain science, mindfulness, and meditation offered by the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM).
  • An online course offered by NICABM to help mental health and other wellness professionals learn how to use technology to have a bigger impact and greater influence in the community.  I am now on LinkedIn and Twitter (@LisaKCounseling), and am working at getting up to speed (slowly) with both.  I’ve also created a second website to offer educational materials for all members of the Elder care partner team at www.carepartnerconnection.com.
  • My own team now includes a Virtual Assistant, (thank you, Darby Miller!), who makes it all possible.
  • Coaching with the Soul Guide, Dr. Pamela Moss helped me clarify my mission and purpose, and to let go of limiting thinking!
  • An online course on how to get my book published, with therapist, speaker, and author, Bill O’Hanlon. I’ve made an important shift from saying “Someday I’ll write a book” to “I’m writing a book!”
  • I’ve made new friends and expanded my network of like-minded colleagues, good and smart people committed to person-directed care and the importance of self-care for each of us.
  • I am studying “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing” (EMDR) with Andrew Seubert from Clear Path Healing Arts Center.  It’s an approach to healing trauma that is already making a difference in my clinical practice.

There are some big events coming up, too:

  • Next week I’m heading to the Eden Alternative’s International Conference in Nashville, TN.  Two years ago I was a speaker there, and I’m looking forward to the flow of being a participant.   More learning!  More friends!  More collaboration!
  • Later in May I’ll be at the first Care Management Summit at Binghamton University, speaking about “care partnership” and what it means to create a culture of meaningful care.

In the coming weeks I’ll post more about what I’m learning and applying, and invite you to join our conversation about how we can promote well-being for each of us, no matter what our age or role.

Thank you for being a part of this tribe (our own Care Partner Connection!); I would love to have you invite your friends and colleagues, too!

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Lisa Kendall is a social worker with certification in clinical gerontology and over 30 years’ experience in aging and Elder care.  Lisa has a private practice in Ithaca, NY, teaches for the Ithaca College Gerontology Institute, and serves on the Cornell University President’s Advisory Council for Work and Family Issues.

 As an Educator for The Eden Alternative, Lisa facilitates trainings around the country to improve the quality of life for Elders and their Care Partners, and is a popular speaker for both professional and family audiences.

 

Sorrow and Joy in the Season of Light

I am thinking a lot in this season about loved ones who have passed, and in particular about my daughter, Diane, who died almost 17 years ago in a car accident.

Through much of the year I am able to stay busy with meaningful work and beloved Diane Graduationfamily, but there is a bittersweet aura around the winter holidays that forces me to look at my loss and care for my broken heart.

I know others are grieving too.  Perhaps you’ve lost a parent, sibling, or child, or know someone who has.  Most of us have lost friends.  Perhaps you are caring for a loved one whose illness triggers feelings akin to grief.

While we encourage people to celebrate the joys around them, hold fast to memories, and embrace what is present in our ill loved ones’ lives, this is a time to also honor those who have gone before and those who love them.

Every year I remind folks about the Worldwide Candle Lighting hosted by The Compassionate Friends, an organization that offers peer support groups for bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents.

The Compassionate Friends group in Binghamton, NY probably saved my life after Diane’s accident.

I encourage you to visit their website at www.compassionatefriends.org, and to participate with me in lighting a candle for our children who have died.

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspxThis annual ceremony starts at 7 p.m. on the second Sunday evening in December, and by lighting a candle in your time zone, wherever you are, we create a wave of light that ripples around the world for 24 hours.

This year’s Candle Lighting is on Sunday, December 8th.

Thank you to all who have supported me with their encouragement, prayers, and good wishes.

Thank you to all who are doing the hard work of caring for ill loved ones.

It helps to know we do not walk alone.

Best Practices in Home Care Showcase

One of the things that keeps me working in the aging services field is the camaraderie of my colleagues.  They demonstrate a tremendous commitment to and appreciation for Elders and their care partners, an awareness of the Elders’ stories as sacred treasures to be held by us with care, and an intuition that the health care system in which we all work is terribly broken.

It was my honor to meet with such a group of dedicated peers recently, at the “Best Practices in Home Care Showcase.” The event was hosted by the Steuben County Office for Aging in the Southern Tier of New York, the Steuben Senior Services Fund, and NYCONNECTS.  Attendees included representatives of home health organizations, case managers for senior apartments, advocates for people living with developmental disabilities, the faith community, and wise Elders.

“Grandmother” by magnificentlife via Flickr

They are all seeking better ways to serve Elders and their families, and thirsty to work together in a way that honors the need of everyone involved to grow.

It can be a big challenge to introduce the philosophy of The Eden Alternative to a group, when time is limited and the important work of culture change is the goal.  With the “Eden at Home” initiative, we are helping people recognize how culturally pervasive ageism contributes to the three plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom; introducing a new definition of care as well as the concept of empowered care partner teams (with the Elder at the center of decision-making); and showing how the antidotes to the plagues can be applied in home and community-based settings.

The talk culminated with a showing of a powerful, person-directed “video care plan,” with thanks to Haleigh Jane Thomas and her parents, Dr. Bill and Jude Thomas.

Even with limited time, these concepts speak for themselves.  Knowing there is a philosophy that provides a framework for every member of the team, (Elder, family, and professional alike), to speak a common language and truly make the shift to person-directed care  can invigorate a community.

There is a lot of buzz in Steuben County about the possibility of hosting a Certified Eden at Home Trainer workshop in 2013, and many at the “Best Practices in Home Care Showcase” indicated they would attend.

This three day workshop cultivates culture change agents for participating organizations, while providing the tools needed to offer Care Partner Workshops in our agencies and for the wider community.

Have you participated in an Eden at Home training yet?  With the vast majority of Elders living in their own homes, in retirement communities, or with family members, the implementation of The Eden Alternative principles can accelerate the pace of culture change and transform care for all of us.

There are currently Certified Eden at Home Trainer workshops planned in Las Vegas, NV, and Toledo, OH.  Find out more HERE

Lisa Kendall is an Educator for The Eden Alternative, teaches for the Ithaca College Gerontology Institute, and manages her own counseling and consulting practice in Ithaca, NY.

The True Heart of Caregiving

I stumbled onto a music video this morning that really spoke to everything I’ve loved about working with Elders and their care partners for the last 28 years.  It was so sweet and so beautifully done, I had to sit down and find a way to share it with you.

This story shows with great poignancy the deep connections that often form between Elders and those who care for them, and how both benefit from the relationship. 

Genuine, loving care is both given and received in this tender relationship! 

Loneliness, helplessness, and boredom, the three plagues of Elderhood described by Dr. Bill Thomas, co-founder of the Eden Alternative, are vanquished for both the Elder and the young man in this lovely story.

I wasn’t able to embed the video here, but I believe it is worth your visit away from my site to see Brett Eldredge’s music video, “Raymond” at youtube. 

Just grab a few tissues, click HERE, and come back to comment on your reactions to the video.   You can also visit Brett Eldredge’s website – this talented young man is raising awareness about Alzheimer’s disease.

Thanks for spending some time with me today; please visit again!

Lisa Kendall is a clinical social worker and clinical social work gerontologist in private practice in Ithaca, NY.  She is an Eden at Home Educator committed to changing the culture of care for Elders and their care partners.  Learn more about Eden at Home and the Eden Alternative at www.edenalt.org

A Bountiful Harvest for Eden at Home

Eden at Home Certified Trainer Workshop, Tarentum, PA

Three months of careful planning by many faithful gardeners has yielded a new harvest: twenty-four new Eden at Home Certified Trainers! 

Congratulations to the remarkable group that attended the three-day workshop hosted by Community LIFE in Tarentum, PA, this past weekend; it was an amazing time of shared discovery and intense community-building.

This passionate group of committed people came together to learn about the Eden philosophy and how it can be used in overcoming the three plagues of loneliness, helplessness, and boredom that cause so much suffering for Elders and their care partners.  We shared stories, challenged perceptions of aging, and explored the ten-principles of the Eden philosophy. 

We learned how to conduct Eden at Home care partner workshops and initiate real culture change. 

Family Blackberry Harvest

photo by Cristian Bortes via Flickr

Every participant arrived with an open heart and mind, ready to share from their wisdom and to learn from others. 

As this workshop’s Eden Educator, I am humbled by and grateful for the opportunity to serve these fine people.

I wish each new Certified Trainer every blessing as they move forward with implementation of the Eden philosophy in their families, organizations, and communities.

Together, I know we will improve the quality of life for our Elder care partners and every member of the care partner team!

Congratulations, best wishes, and thank you

It CAN be different!

Lisa Kendall is an Eden at Home Educator and geriatric social worker in private practice in Ithaca, New York.  Subscribe to Lisa’s blog about self-care for every member of the care partner team by clicking the link at the top left of this page. Learn more about Eden at Home at www.edenalt.org

Eden at Home Trainer Certification Workshop: September 25-27, 2010

Coming to Pennsylvania!

EDEN at HOME

Creating Quality of Life for Care Partner Teams

Training Certification Workshop

Host: Community LIFE

702 Second Avenue, Tarentum, PA

September 25-27, 2010

Eden at Home Educator: Lisa A. Kendall, LCSW-R, CSW-G

Register NOW!  Space is Limited

 

Working together, empowered care partner teams help to ensure the independence, dignity, and continued growth and development of our Elder care partners and each other. 

What does EAH Trainer Certification offer?

After training, Certified Trainers inspire care partners, both within their organization and out in the community, to:

  • Reframe perceptions of aging and disability
  • Work together to reduce stress & burnout
  • Build strategies on strengths, rather than limitations
  • Develop meaningful connections with each other
  • Create opportunities for all to give as well as receive
  • Communicate effectively & thoughtfully       
  • Share joy, hope, wisdom, spontaneity, & respect
  • Prevent loneliness, helplessness, & boredom for all on the care partner team

To learn more about Eden at Home, join us for a free informational webinar: 

September 14th

Click HERE to register 

 

Who may want an EAH Certified Trainer on staff?

Non-profit organizations, state agencies, home health organizations, faith-based organizations, Area Agencies on Aging, hospitals, hospices, senior centers, care management, adult day services, independent living communities, and long-term care organizations with home health outreach or an interest in supporting ongoing needs after rehabilitation.

 What is the workshop cost?

Early Bird:      $385 per person until Sept. 14, 2010

Group:           $360 for multiple attendees from same organization

Regular Fee:  $435 per person, after Early Bird deadline

 

Fees cover 3 days of training, our scripted EAH Trainer’s Guide, additional reference materials, and food.

 

Questions?  Contact Meredith Burrus at education@edenalt.org

 

*** CEUs available with the National Association of Social Workers and National Association of Boards ***

 

Register HERE or by calling 512-847-6061

Rural Gold

Photo by Rory Martin via Flickr

Celebrating the Sacredness of Life and Death

 

Announcing a Webinar from the

Eden Alternative:

Eden Alternative Webinars

Celebrating the Sacredness of Life and Death

Panelists: Cheryl Fitzgerald, C-GNP, C-ANP; Sharon Wolff, MSW; and Richard Gamache, MS, CNHA, FACHCA

Learn how a group of people from different disciplines can work together to improve end-of-life care and how we honor death for all members of the community.  Learn about the four points of a mission statement that changed one organization’s approach: 

  • We believe death is sacred;
  • We believe that no one should die alone;
  • We believe staff, families and Elders need time and space to grieve; and
  • We honor the memory of every life we have been privileged to touch. 

Elmhurst Extended Care’s Celebration of Life program was honored by Rhode Island Quality Partners as the recipient of the Advancing Innovation in Healthcare Award in 2009.  Our distinguished panelists will share how Celebration of Life is not only devoted to improving end-of-life care, but also to celebrating the lives of Elmhurst community members.

 

Cheryl Fitzgerald, Director of Clinical Services at Elmhurst Extended Care, is a nurse practitioner certified in geriatrics and an Eden Alternative Mentor.  Sharon Wolff, Director of Social Services, is an Eden Alternative Mentor and Chair of Elmhurst’s Celebration of Life Committee.  Richard Gamache serves as Administrator of Elmhurst Extended Care.  He is also an Eden Alternative Educator and Mentor.  Join us on August 18th for this inspiring webinar experience!

Register Here!

 

When is a Crutch not a Crutch?

In our culture, we shrink from signs of weakness or disability, preferring to see ourselves and each other as strong and capable.

Often, the very tools that might keep us independent, such as a cane or walker, are refused because they seem to represent frailty.  In reality, these assistive devices can make walking safer and prevent falls, allowing the greatest possible independence!

I was thinking about how hard it is for many Elders to accept the need for a walker or cane, or even the use of a wheelchair for trips out and about, and how troubling it is that our society has such strong prejudices about the use of such devices.

Then I realized that I have held the same deep biases about self-care and doing the things I need to do to stay healthy and strong.

As a health care professional, I’ve learned the hard way that I have to practice what I preach about taking good care of my mind, body and spirit, or I won’t be able to care for my family, clients, and friends.

Photo by Nick J Webb via Flickr

  • Have you ever felt guilty about getting a massage, considering it a luxury rather than part of your stress management strategy?   
  • Do you take time to plan and enjoy healthy, nutritious meals?
  • Are you getting regular, enjoyable exercise?
  • Do you have hobbies outside of work or caregiving that delight and inspire you?

These things are not “crutches,” they are important tools to keep you healthy and strong and able to stay in service.  Give them the priority they (and you!) deserve, and schedule time for them in ink on your calendar.

We’ll continue to talk about this, because too many professional care partners and family caregivers are suffering from over-load and are vulnerable to stress-related illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, and depression.

Please write me a comment (below) to let me know what you will do to take care of your SELF this week!

Will Oprah Embrace Aging? Will you?

Have you ever thought about Aging as a good thing? 

We tend to think about Elderhood as a period of decline and loss, but Dr. Bill Thomas, co-founder of the “Eden Alternative” philosophy of care, has worked for years and all around the world to bring a new message about the gifts of Aging and Elderhood.

Elders and the people who care for them have a voice, but it is often not heard in a culture that values youth, productivity, and physical strength.

Listen to Dr. Thomas and his message for Oprah, then check out the beautiful videos that many ordinary people have posted to YouTube to honor the Elders in their lives! 

Let me know what you think — can we embrace Aging and change the culture of care together?

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